August 9, 2007 by annie.

date hiked: July 26, 2007
distance: 1.5 miles
highest elevation: 100 feet
elevation gain: 10 feet
time: 1 hour

The Moraine Ecology Trail at first gives you an amazing view of Mendenhall Glacier from a beach. Soon after, the trail winds its way into forest covered in moss, streams crossing constantly, and evidence of a glacier-carved landscape abounds. There is an active beaver colony and although I find the beaver fascinating, locals say the amount of beaver activity here is a problem. The beavers are changing the water flow constantly. The salmon are here too…and that means there are bear too. Damn bear.

I share my bearanoia with Rebecca, our hotel clerk. I expect her to tell me it’s ridiculous to be afraid of running into a bear. Instead, she says, “Yeah, I would be afraid. I don’t blame you one bit.” I imagine that is her idea of camaraderie. Instead, my bearanoia is validated. Damn bear.

I don’t see any bear on this trail. In fact, I don’t spend much time thinking about seeing bears. It’s quite populated here.

I didn’t realize how wet things would be. I don’t know what I thought, but I didn’t imagine that things would be so full of water. The meadows look amazing, then you realize they are more like swamps…they’re covered in water. Not that it makes them less amazing.

The green also amazes me. It seems different. It’s like there are a million shades of green and they are all right here. How can there be so many different greens? I wish I could capture them all. The Moraine trail loops back to the beginning and Tyler and I are off to Nugget Falls.

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August 9, 2007 by annie.

July 25, 2007 - Juneau, Alaska

After dinner, we decided to walk along the beach and came to a creek with a large number of eagles and other birds around. Walking up to the creek, it turns out, the salmon runs had begun. Locals had told us the town goes a little haywire when the salmon starts running. For some of the local population, it is their livelihood. The others, it seems, just try to get out of the way. Juneau also receives 800,000 tourists from (mostly) cruise ships that dock in their harbor. And yes, they want salmon too.

The whole concept of the salmon run gets to me. Male and female fish swimming against all odds (fisherman, bears, birds, etc.) to reproduce. Then they die.

Tyler thinks if humans had to reproduce that way there wouldn’t be any children. ”Mom, why do they even do it? Why not just swim in the ocean and enjoy life?”

I tried to explain the idea of purpose. ”This is what salmon are supposed to do. They don’t think the way you and I do. They are meant to swim and reproduce this way.”

Tyler says, “It shouldn’t be that hard.”

Somewhere inside, something stirs. I sit, watching all of the activity around me. Fascinated (and weirdly, honored) by what I am witnessing. Suddenly Tyler is taking off his shoes and socks. “Mom, those two are stuck! They’re going to die if I don’t help them.” He rolls up his pants, grabs a stick, walks into the water and shoves the salmon into deeper water. He’s thrilled that he’s saved two salmon.

I’m secretly touched. He proudly talks about his “salmon saving” for quite awhile. In the midst of his blabbering (and Tyler does blab), I hear him say, “I know they will die anyway, but maybe I have helped them reach their purpose.”

Now, sitting in a hotel, writing in my journal, I cry. Tears of joy. Tears of happiness.

Maybe some parents are confident in their relationship with their children. Maybe some parents are positive that their children are okay. Maybe some parents never question whether they are a good mom or dad. Not me. Things have been hard for Tyler and I. That’s a fact. If I didn’t acknowledge that, I’d be an idiot. Most of the time, through all of the hardness, we’ve had a great relationship. In the last few years, some things changed. I was married and then divorced. Tyler blamed me. He was angry. He sided with my ex. For a long time, we struggled to connect. I began to question whether or not we could heal.

I also started to worry about the kind of man I wanted Tyler to be. Was he going to grow up to be a good man? If we couldn’t find our way back, how could I help him be that man? Slowly, over time, we began to reconnect. We began to heal. We talked again, we laughed again, we went to the movies, took trips, and had birthday parties where I tried to pretend I was cool (which I’m not).

And here today I find a nugget. Is Tyler going to grow up to be a good man? Well…if he helps them reach their purpose.

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August 9, 2007 by annie.

July 25, 2007

We are definitely in the land of the midnight sun. The fact that it doesn’t become dark until after midnight gives us much more time to explore. Mendenhall Glacier is part of the Juneau Icefield. It is 12 miles long and up to 1.5 miles wide. Since 1750, the glacier has been receding. It is retreating at approximately 150 feet per year. Its calving icebergs enter Mendenhall Lake. There are many trails in the area and we are coming back tomorrow to hike some. Tyler even said he’d join me.

    Tyler on one of the trails at Mendenhall.

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