October 6, 2007 by annie.

July 31, 2007

You can’t explore Alaskan history without visiting a gold mine and panning for gold. The Indian Valley Mine is about 20 minutes south of Anchorage on the Seward Highway. It was fun. Tyler would like to be rich from his flakes of found gold.

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October 6, 2007 by annie.

date hiked: July 31, 2007
distance: 6 miles
highest elevation: 2350 feet
elevation gain: 2000
time: approximately 3.5 hours

Okay, the truth is…I don’t remember anything to write about this trail. I wrote in my journal that there weren’t any cars at the trailhead, it was wet, not raining, and I was still very terrified of running into bear.

It’s pretty though, isn’t it?

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October 6, 2007 by annie.

Obviously, I’m way behind on posting. So, I’m going to try to catch up a bit.

July 31, 2007

The Turnagain Arm Trail is a 9.4 mile (one-way) trail that runs along Seward Highway about 10 miles south of Anchorage. The trail has four trailheads that break it into three sections. One of the sections, McHugh Creek - Rainbow descends (if desired) to Beluga Point.

Seeing as I have a not-so-secret obsession with all things watery, the idea of seeing a beluga whale was exciting. The beluga whales follow the salmon into the shallow waters at the point. Unfortunately, we didn’t spot any.

We did find an amazingly strong wind. Tyler and I had to work hard to stand. We found shelter in the trees for a few moments, watching the water, reflecting.

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October 6, 2007 by annie.

July 29 - 31, 2007

We put the rental car on a ferry from Juneau to Haines and drove through the Yukon territory to make our way to Anchorage. We crossed the Canadian/U.S. border (twice). It was hard to imagine what the landscape might look like during the winter. It was so beautiful and seemed suited for the bright greens. There was water everywhere. I later learned these were called kettles, water-filled pits left behind by retreating glaciers. Tyler and I were fascinated by the “drunken forests”. The black spruce trees are crooked due to the shallow root sytem in the permafrost. We initially thought some trees were toppling over until we read about the black spruce tree’s ability to survive and thrive in the harsh winter. They only look like they’re falling over. According to local lore, most Hollywood movies that are supposedly located in Alaska are actually filmed in British Columbia…because the black spruce tree doesn’t make for an attractive landscape.

Tyler and I disagree.

The rivers were also amazing. They seemed massive. We drove along the Copper River.

We also came across a number of glaciers. And the meadows of flowers were gorgeous.

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August 21, 2007 by annie.

date hiked: July 28, 2007
distance: 3 miles
highest elevation: unknown
elevation gain: unknown
time: approximately 1.5 hours

One of the things I loved about hiking in Juneau is that you were always near the water. These three trails are on Douglas Island (included in the borough of Juneau) and can be walked together in a kind of loop. This is our last day in the area and I’m filled with excitement about what may come next.

Tyler walked this trail with me because there were rocks he could climb. I thought they were sharp and slippery. He thought they were fun. Go figure.

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August 12, 2007 by annie.

I had hoped to post all of our Alaska adventure before leaving again…but I didn’t make it. Tyler and I are off in the morning to Mount Rainier National Park for four days of camping and hiking. So, upon return…I shall continue posting about the Alaska trip (I still have so much more) AND post about this trip. Woohoo!

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August 10, 2007 by annie.

July 27, 2007 - Juneau, Alaska (more specifically - Stephens Passage)

Tyler and I have this joke. I’ve already explained my intense fascination with all things watery. What I failed to mention was my numerous previous attempt to find whales. I’ve even been on a boat, in the Pacific Ocean, during the migration season…and had everyone on the boat see a whale. Except me. I missed it. Needless to say it became the source of much comedy in our household…especially when planning the whale watching trip.

We booked a whale watching trip with Orca Enterprises. While doing my research I found that they saw humpback whales on every trip and orcas on one in every five trips during the summer. They quoted a 99.9% success rate.

Tyler, of course, insisted that by being on their boat, I would ruin their average.

The day we left for our whale watching trip, I had already seen humpback whales while traveling through the inside passage…so I figured, anything is good. Still, I couldn’t help but feel like Alice Walker in her essay, Looking for Zora. In the story, Alice is looking for Zora Neale Hurston’s unmarked grave. The cemetery is no longer used and has been extremely neglected. Alice is standing in waist-high weeds, her feet in sand, with unseen snakes and ants all around. Desperate, she starts to yell, “Zora!”. I love that story. Although it seems odd (and probably wrong to most people), there’s a quiet desperation in my heart. I can imagine it. Standing at the bow of the boat, shouting, “Whales! Where are you? Show yourselves! Please!!!”

It turns out. I didn’t have to yell. However, I did decide that I was the luckiest woman on earth.

I should note before I go any further that I didn’t manage to take any pictures. I was too busy being shocked. Literally. Lucky for me, Tyler thinks he might want to be a photographer, so he was able to keep his camera rolling.

Bubble netting or bubble net feeding is unique to humpback whales. It also doesn’t happen in all places. The Alaska Whale Foundation has a great page that explains it in detail. Humpback whales are individual animals. They don’t travel in groups. Yet, with bubble netting, a group of humpbacks will come together to feed. The whales blow bubbles to form a “net” to force a school of fish together. The whales then rise together with their mouths open to catch the fish. (That is the lay version of bubble net feeding.)

On the boat, we were watching this process from a distance. Then all of a sudden, right next to the boat, the water started bubbling. And the whales came too.

I cried. I know it’s silly…but it was so amazing. I felt so honored that I was able to witness it. Tyler has admitted that I’m probably not cursed anymore. Oh…and we also saw eagles and sea lions.

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August 9, 2007 by annie.

July 25, 2007 - Juneau, Alaska

After dinner, we decided to walk along the beach and came to a creek with a large number of eagles and other birds around. Walking up to the creek, it turns out, the salmon runs had begun. Locals had told us the town goes a little haywire when the salmon starts running. For some of the local population, it is their livelihood. The others, it seems, just try to get out of the way. Juneau also receives 800,000 tourists from (mostly) cruise ships that dock in their harbor. And yes, they want salmon too.

The whole concept of the salmon run gets to me. Male and female fish swimming against all odds (fisherman, bears, birds, etc.) to reproduce. Then they die.

Tyler thinks if humans had to reproduce that way there wouldn’t be any children. ”Mom, why do they even do it? Why not just swim in the ocean and enjoy life?”

I tried to explain the idea of purpose. ”This is what salmon are supposed to do. They don’t think the way you and I do. They are meant to swim and reproduce this way.”

Tyler says, “It shouldn’t be that hard.”

Somewhere inside, something stirs. I sit, watching all of the activity around me. Fascinated (and weirdly, honored) by what I am witnessing. Suddenly Tyler is taking off his shoes and socks. “Mom, those two are stuck! They’re going to die if I don’t help them.” He rolls up his pants, grabs a stick, walks into the water and shoves the salmon into deeper water. He’s thrilled that he’s saved two salmon.

I’m secretly touched. He proudly talks about his “salmon saving” for quite awhile. In the midst of his blabbering (and Tyler does blab), I hear him say, “I know they will die anyway, but maybe I have helped them reach their purpose.”

Now, sitting in a hotel, writing in my journal, I cry. Tears of joy. Tears of happiness.

Maybe some parents are confident in their relationship with their children. Maybe some parents are positive that their children are okay. Maybe some parents never question whether they are a good mom or dad. Not me. Things have been hard for Tyler and I. That’s a fact. If I didn’t acknowledge that, I’d be an idiot. Most of the time, through all of the hardness, we’ve had a great relationship. In the last few years, some things changed. I was married and then divorced. Tyler blamed me. He was angry. He sided with my ex. For a long time, we struggled to connect. I began to question whether or not we could heal.

I also started to worry about the kind of man I wanted Tyler to be. Was he going to grow up to be a good man? If we couldn’t find our way back, how could I help him be that man? Slowly, over time, we began to reconnect. We began to heal. We talked again, we laughed again, we went to the movies, took trips, and had birthday parties where I tried to pretend I was cool (which I’m not).

And here today I find a nugget. Is Tyler going to grow up to be a good man? Well…if he helps them reach their purpose.

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August 9, 2007 by annie.

July 25, 2007

We are definitely in the land of the midnight sun. The fact that it doesn’t become dark until after midnight gives us much more time to explore. Mendenhall Glacier is part of the Juneau Icefield. It is 12 miles long and up to 1.5 miles wide. Since 1750, the glacier has been receding. It is retreating at approximately 150 feet per year. Its calving icebergs enter Mendenhall Lake. There are many trails in the area and we are coming back tomorrow to hike some. Tyler even said he’d join me.

    Tyler on one of the trails at Mendenhall.

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August 8, 2007 by annie.

July 25, 2007

Juneau, Alaska

Today has been a day of contrasts. I set out to explore Juneau. Luckily for me, that began as a straight-forward task. Egan Drive is the main highway that runs through town. (Although calling it a highway is a major stretch.) It heads approximately forty miles north from downtown and then dead-ends. Pretty straight-forward. I had forty miles of scenery to explore.

At about mile 23 we came upon the Shrine of St. Therese, a Catholic chapel built in 1939. We had heard this was a not-to-miss spot and it was easy to see why. The small, cobblestone chapel was built on an island connected to the mainland by a 400-foot causeway. The island was completed secluded and the chapel was invisible until you walked across the causeway and came upon it. It was beautiful, whether or not you are Catholic.

But my favorite part? There was a prayer labyrinth! Suddenly the explorations of the day were no longer straight-forward. Things were curvy. If I walked the labyrinth, what problem would I seek to settle? What question can I gnaw at? What struggle am I willing to wrestle with?

Is there a God? Does Jesus exist? How do you make yourself believe something? Is saying it enough?

The truth is, I’m not a believer. I used to be. Some days, I want to be. Most days, if I search myself, I can drum up fear. I want to believe on the off chance that I might live in hell for the rest of eternity. Then, if I search deeper, I find…it’s not there. The other truth…my biggest fear…I don’t want to live forever. No matter where it is.

I had a therapist once who said if you repeat something to yourself enough you will believe it. Should I wake up every morning and tell myself I believe in Jesus? Why?

The labyrinth didn’t provide any answers for me. So I continue to explore.

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